Pictures, doodles and… other stuff.

Here’s some advice: when writing a long post with pictures and doodles and your experience with university, remember to SAVE IT.

Yeah, I lost it, so now I’ll just dump all these doodles and pictures here because I don’t even remember what I had said in the original post. Hi to new followers! Thank you for following, and I think I should probably let you know that I don’t always do reviews, or always do art, or always write. It’s just a bit of this and that whenever I feel like it. I apologize in advance for any weirdness.

Okay, so the pieces with chalk and charcoal were done for this art class I’m taking for a summer credit (because I switched out of science 1.5 years into it, and now I’m taking English and Cultural Studies and I’m a little behind on credits). The ones done in pen/brush pen are done at home in my own sketchbook, because I’m lazy and I don’t want to use a pencil and eraser.

Unfinished doodle of dress. Why do I draw with pens? I don’t know.

Ruined it. Why do I draw with pen? I don’t know.

I needed something to draw, so why not Riza?

And some flowers I saw on the table, but then I added more. It didn’t really look like this. I never draw things exactly as I see them.

Ooh, and this beautiful duke, Rufus. (From Pandora Hearts.) I keep drawing him everywhere, he’s just so pretty.

Bad pictures, I’m so sorry. But Abstract stuff for class.

I take crappy pictures, I know. More abstract stuff. She wanted us to ~move~ our arms when drawing.

This is the only pencil drawing, and it isn’t finished but that’s because I kind of gave up. It was something from a tree… but I don’t really know what. This was for the sketchbook for class. That’s why no pen, hehe.

Our prof told us not to make them very representational, but I… added leaves and I shouldn’t have. Whoops.

My prof liked this one best. I think it’s meh.

This one is my favourite.

I think I actually screwed up the eye, but whatever.

Oh, this one is my favourite. I really, really like this one and I don’t care what you say.

Aah, this. So my little sister kept asking me how I do those swirlies and flowers. I told her to bring her sketchbook and start with a flower in one of the corners. Then I just added more and let her do leaves and thorns and butterflies. She took it and colored it, but I haven’t seen it yet.

Toph! Because I love Toph. I know, she looks… older here and there’s something wrong about her but… well, I was just sketching with a brush pen, which means mistakes everywhere. Since I’m not that great, anyway.

Clouds! Done on Photoshop. I actually really, really love using colors.

Ah, and I read A Monster Calls, by Patrick Ness, yesterday! It was great. I’ll be posting a review soon, and I took pictures of the book because it is absolutely GORGEOUS. Like really, guys, it’s just so beautiful.

What else… hmm… oh! I got this little tiny notebook because I wanted to make notes about plot and characters — for the series I’m working on. It’s so tiny though, I don’t think it’s really any use. But look:

Yes, I got it just because I thought it was pretty. Ugh…

This was on the bus. Attempt at drawing a little map in a tiny little notebook. It’s not going to turn out nice-looking.

This one isn’t bad though, but I think it may have been because the bus had stopped at the college. Yes… I do remember looking up and thinking, why aren’t we moving?

I think that’s it. I could talk about music and soundtracks, but this is pretty long. Oh hey, I might start doing chapter-by-chapter posts of books I’m reading. I know I was doing Way of Kings, and I want to go back to that. Let’s hope I get the chance sometime soon.

No-doodles-review: Divergent, Veronica Roth.

Forgive me, there’s no drawings for this one. I’m really sorry. Also, negative review. You have been warned.

Divergent, Veronica Roth. Click on picture for more info.

Bleh.

I procrastinated A LOT on writing a review for this. And that procrastination took me to Reading With A Vengeance’s Chapter by Chapter review of this book.

Let me tell you something. When I hate a book, I love reading snark for it. It makes me feel better, and it makes me glad that someone took the time to say all the things I was thinking, and said it better than I could’ve. But you know with this book? I could only read the posts up to chapter 15ish. Why? Because it reminded me of what I had read and how annoyingly stupid it was and how pointless it was and just how terrible the plot was and all the things I did not like about it and all the things that made me go bleh and why and what the fuck?

If you loved this book though, I suggest you read those posts, because Whitley goes into some really interesting issues. And if you hated it, you should do that too because you just should.

Anyways, what did I think?

First few pages: So this is Harry Potter and Hunger Games put into one?

Nope? Maybe? Yes?

Look, in Harry Potter (let’s stick to first book), the Sorting Hat didn’t say that you were ALL Ravenclaw, ALL Gryffindor, or ALL Slytherin. And if you didn’t have enough of any of those qualities and good portions of one to get you into the house, there was always Hufflepuff. Don’t any of you dare say anything about Hufflepuff, okay? I may not belong to that house, but I love it. Helga Hufflepuff didn’t get too full of herself about what kind of students she would teach and not teach, she was like, “Hey, I’ll take anyone and everyone.” They’re like the perfect people. Not too brave, not too ambitious, not too smartypants. We knew with Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and many others that they had all of those qualities, and that their desire for one house or another may have influenced their sorting. And in the end, it was a magic school. Dormitories, and people and places you could work and hang out with/at. Yes, I know there were a million issues about how the school was run and how some of the houses were treated by both teachers and students of other houses. But I repeat, in the end, magic school. Wizards, witches, and Dumbledore and talking hats and Peeves and ghosts and giant dogs and why, in a place like that, would you want everything to make sense? For me, it was just more fun for it to not make sense. I like silly stuff like that. In the other books things change, but let’s not talk about that here.

I’ve only read the first Hunger Games book, and I didn’t like it that much. Even when I had questions about it though, I still knew that we could just blame the Capitol. It was the bad guy. Why are kids killing each other, why are they such terrible monsters, what the fuck is up with the world and these places and these Capitol people? The government. Something bad with the government. So now all the bad is government’s fault. I could just think that and keep on reading.

The problem with Divergent is that it doesn’t give you good answers to all the WHY and HOW questions.

Let’s see here, main character, Tris, is the daughter of some guy who works in the government, and they’re in a faction that only has people who are… selfless. Now, I at first thought that it was “valuing selflessness” — so that it meant the people there wanted to be more selfless than smart or brave, not that it was the ONLY thing they could be. There’s no possible way a person is… well, entirely all selfless. Like even being selfless is selfish, and in being selfless, aren’t you being a liar, aren’t you being brave, aren’t you being clever, aren’t you being at peace?

There are people who do good deeds so they can feel better about making someone ELSE feel better. That has selfishness to it, doesn’t it? Abnegation people apparently give food to the poor, they volunteer to help build stuff because they are selfless. But tell me, if you are someone who helps the poor and wants them to have enough food and drink and shelter, aren’t you, in a way, wanting peace for them? Doesn’t that bring peace to you? Then isn’t that something of Amity in you?

I know the test results are recorded, but in actually expecting all the people to go into the faction they’ve been given, aren’t you asking them to be honest? Wouldn’t they be displaying honesty? Yeah, I know, one person decides to go into a different one — but that’s ONE in I don’t know how many. The hand cutting too, doesn’t that require some bravery? Oh, and there was that bit about Abnegation climbing stairs because they’re selfless, and then later on we see Tris struggling with running because she has never done it before. Uhm, why would a group of people who are always willing to volunteer to do construction work, make decisions in the government, and help out the poor, be against something like physical training? Don’t you want your body to be healthy so you can continue being selfless and helpful towards others?

Like, when you actually think about all of this stuff, IT. DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE.

But whatever. I told myself it was a dystopia, and that it’s possible that there’s something wrong with these people, and there’s some big bad that did it, and I tried to read on.

And it was still very, very hard. If there was a big bad, and it this was just the way this society operated, and even if I was to accept it in THEORY, and that it somehow all WORKS, and that I’d be given an answer — which I wasn’t, by the way — I still do not see it in the characters. Like, if you really wanted to show me that society has trained these people and these kids to be so… limited in their thoughts and personalities or whatever, you could at least let me see that it’s there. The characters, from whatever factions they were, showed bits of all factions in them.

I guess you could say that it was all the intention of the author. Okay, I can go with that for a bit. So let’s move on to plot, because trust me, you do not want me to get started on Dauntless — this review would never, ever, ever end. Also, the fucking train. But not now, not now.

So. Plot.

Tris: I am not selfless, ugh this selfless thing is hard, oh my god my dad hates questions! My mom is beautiful! My brother is all selfless! I am not! I’m a terrible person but ugh I need to get out of this place! I hate it but NOO.

*tests and initiations happen*

Tris: Divergent? oh my god it’s dangerous oh my god oh my god what do I do what do I do oh my god, I fit into THREE FACTIONS? I AM CLEVER AND BRAVE AND HONEST? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? OH MY GOD.

*picks Dauntless*

TRIS: BECAUSE I AM FUCKING BRAVE, YO. And selfish.

*initiation starts*

*all Dauntless kids, new and old, expected to jump on moving train because BRAVERY*

*some kids can’t get on train*

HAHA SUCKERS YOU WEREN’T BRAVE ENOUGH TO GET ON THE TRAIN YOU COWARDS DIE AND BE FACTIONLESS

*train arrives at Dauntless place — must jump on top of roof from moving train*

*kids get injured, some don’t jump, one jumps and dies*

WHAT FUCKING LOSERS! THEY DESERVE DEATH AND FACTIONLESSNISM BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’RE BRAVE AND DAUNTLESS? FUCK YOU. YOU MUST BE ABLE TO JUMP OFF A FUCKING TRAIN ONTO A ROOF TO BE CONSIDERED BRAVE!

*even though the kids have never been told or warned about it or would never have even considered this to be bravery of all things*

*kids now jump off building into a hole because BRAVERY*

*Tris jumps because she’s fucking brave, yo*

And on and on, these kids are beaten, abused, physically and emotionally — they’re yelled at, ridiculed, bloodied up, and just put against each other, all in the name of BRAVERY. There’s bullying and there’s friendship — only thing that I was a little bit happy about because yay girls and friendship and not a jealousy fight over a guy! But basically, it’s like the Hunger Games in the faction of the brave people, where in the end, only 10 are picked.

Why?

Because fucking bravery, yo.

Wait, are you telling me that these kids, when they’re all put together in one faction, where they will meet people that will be like them, who they should consider friends and family, are now fighting each other so they can get to the top 10?

Yep.

What happens to those that don’t make it?

Haha. They get their eyes stabbed, they get killed, abandoned, they get bones broken, or they commit suicide, or they are terribly injured, AND mocked for it, and then they leave Dauntless because those fucking cowardly losers do not deserve to be here, among the DAUNTLESS.

Why?

Because fucking BRAVERY, yo.

Forgive me, really, but I don’t understand why I’m supposed to be excited about all the violence that is done to the main character, and BY the main character to other people. Is it because she’s a girl in a dress and she kicks ass? Is it because this means she’s a strong female character?

But tell me, what did all this brainwashing and bullying and hurting and shit do in the end to the character, and to anything, really?

Oh, it was training her to fight the… uh… well, the zombies at the end?

Did Tris know she was going to be doing that? This whole time, her goal was to make into Dauntless. To be the top ten. And yeah, I get it, when you’re fighting for your life, you wouldn’t really be thinking about what comes after getting into top ten, but I knew that she would make it into Dauntless and I knew she was not going to die. I knew that. What are her motivations though? What drives her? What makes her want to live and make it to top ten? She doesn’t know anything about what these Dauntless people do afterwards, and I don’t understand why she would even be interested in it. Then, a dystopia. Can I get a hint at what’s up with this society? No, of course not. The only thing that’s supposed to happen in this book is Tris getting beaten and her beating up other people because fucking bravery, yo.

No, I’m serious. I’m actually very serious. When you ignore all the other things that were supposed to disguise the pointless plot, that’s all there is to it. Kids getting beaten up. Because fucking BRAVERY, yo.

When Tris’s mom comes in, and she tells her that stuff about the serum, I was like, oh finally. But the mom’s like, Tris my dear, do that after initiation.

Why?

Because we need to see Tris beating up other people and being special and her getting beat up and Four taking care of her because oh my god, a YA book without romance? Cannot happen. Must put it ALL in there.

So then, in the end, because of some weird shit, Tris suddenly is like, WHOA! The Erudite, the clever people, they want to turn us all into zombies! They’re gonna make us go and kill all the Abnegation people because the clever people want to be part of the government!

And then off she goes. The last 30 pages of the book, her whole entire faction is just going around killing Abnegation people, and Tris is pretending to be a zombie because she’s DIVERGENT! SHE IS NOT INFLUENCED! And then the love interest joins in because oh, they’re so special, and then somehow, the mom is like the hero and she saves her, and she dies oh, so heroically — the lady that we only saw in like, three pages — and then, and this is what really pisses me off, Tris teams up with her brother, her dad, and Four’s dad, and they go and try to undo this zombie thing.

85% of the whole fucking book was Tris proving her bravery in the midst of all that violence from her own faction, and making friends, and doing whatever other stupid thing that Dauntless views as bravery, and what do we get for the climax? We get Tris and a character we had like, one paragraph of, a character we had 2 pages of, and a character we had like, one page of, and the character who took every opportunity available to hurt Tris because he was fucking BRAVE, yo. (I’m talking about Peter.)

Those are our heroes in the end.

Forget Christina, the POC character who was Tris’s best friend. Forget Will, who was also the best friend, and who — spoilers — gets killed by Tris because he’s a zombie and Tris is fucking BRAVE YO, and forget Al, who was kind and who was desperate and who was involved in scaring Tris — along with Peter and the other guy — and who ACTUALLY told them to not assault her (because they could’ve actually raped her and then thrown her into the river), and forget everyone else. This is just about Tris being the hero and fucking BRAVE, and Four, and the power of true love.

Al commits suicide because Tris does not forgive him. I don’t think what he did to Tris was right, but I don’t think what ANY person in this Dauntless faction was doing could be in any way considered even the least bit RIGHT.

But Al commits suicide, and Peter, who we were supposed to see as the evil guy, who stabbed a character in the eye because he didn’t want anyone higher in rank from him, and who tried to rape Tris, was one of the surviving people in the end, and on the train (THE FUCKING TRAIN OMYGOD) with the others away to the PEACEFUL people of AMITY, to get away from this war. The war was … one faction turning another faction into zombies so they can kill a third faction.

What was the point of that friendship, of the time Tris spent in the Dauntless faction, of the fighting and competition, if this is the ending we get? What, dear author, did you do here?

Nothing.

Other than have your main character get more and more apathetic, and judgmental, and cruel. You know what happens after Al commits suicide? The Dauntless call him brave. Then at the end, Tris compares his death to her mother’s ~heroic death~ to save her, and she calls Al’s suicide cowardice. She calls it COWARDICE. Veronica Roth, you do realize that many, many teens read this, right?

I’m not gonna go into that, because I’ll just get mad, but–

If Erudite was corrupt — I think Dauntless is pretty shit too, but if you really love this book, then I know you’ll blame that on Eric, who was also Erudite, but forgive me, I think that’s not a good enough answer — why couldn’t we have something from the Erudite faction? Why couldn’t Tris be part of Erudite? Why couldn’t we switch to characters from Erudite, like, you know, Tris’s brother! Or her father! Or her mother! They are the people of knowledge and conspiracies and truths, are they not? Then at least we could get to know more about the society, get to know more secrets, get to know how these things fucking work, but nope. Noooope.

We get Dauntless, the faction of FUCKING BRAVERY YO, and we get violence, violence, more violence, and … violence. Why? Because we need a strong fucking female character! WE NEED VIOLENCE.

Fuck you, book. Fuck you.

What a waste, what pointless shit, and oh, just thinking of the stupidity of the Dauntless hurts me. I’ll be nice and leave the other factions out for now because we don’t get enough of it, and you might think I’m being unfair when the focus was supposed to be FUCKING BRAVERY YO in this one.

You know, I was going to give this book 2 stars, but now that I’ve finished writing this, I think I’ll drop that down to 1/5.

Books Again! The Raven Boys

The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater. (Click on book for more details.)

Oh dear god, after Iron King, the memory of this book is like chocolate to me. Yes, I know, I didn’t even read it that long ago, but like, remembering what I read of Iron King, and then comparing it to what I read in The Raven Boys, it’s like… mud and nutella. Yes, they’re both brown but– actually, probably not a good idea to go into that. Ahem.

So. Like almost every other YA book, I wanted this because of its damn shiny beautiful artistic cover.

Like wow. Have you looked closely at this? Check out the brush strokes! It’s amazing! (Not this stupid doodle of mine, but the actual cover.)

Then I saw Maggie Stiefvater, and was like, wait… has she written some other series that a lot of people hate but a lot of people love, right? Should I? Should I not? I looked at the cover again and thought, I don’t care. I will give you a try, beautiful-cover-book.

So I get home and open Iron King, and after a page, I didn’t want to read it anymore.
I open The Raven Boys, and after reading the first page, I’m thinking oh my god oh my god oh my god, and quickly read to the second page, to about the third paragraph, and then I just… fall on my bed and cry.

Because this is what is says:

“Blue Sargent had forgotten how many times she’d been told that she would kill her true love.”

By kissing him.

What could this mean?

She would fall in love with someone and then she wouldn’t be able to be with him because he’ll die. But she will love, she has to love him, and oh, if she were to spend time with him, what if their lips touch – what if it was an accident? What if in the end, they kiss each other because they love each other and even if it meant one was gonna die, they NEED to feel each other’s lips – OH THE PAIN THAT COMES WITH SUCH LOVE!

I hope you didn’t think I cried because you thought I’d be suffering from all the feels I thought this book would give me. I mean, I know a lot of people loved the idea, but I think it’s the stupidest shit ever, and you need to be really, really good to make this work in a way that wouldn’t make me throw the book out the window.

But who cares about pleasing me.

Anyways, I’m very, very, very happy to say that even though I cried, I ended up picking it up again because I didn’t want to write my papers at the time.

IT TURNED OUT TO BE GOOD.
YOU CANNOT BELIEVE HOW HAPPY AND NERVOUS I WAS WHILE READING THIS.

See, it’s just that knowing it will be about true-love-died-because-you-kiss, I was dreading the moment Blue would be like, whatever. I don’t like Adam. I like Gansey – noooo my heart!

Wait, who’s Gansey, you say? Well, Blue’s family do like psychic readings for people. And every year, Blue goes with her mom to this graveyard, which has something to with a leyline and energy and I don’t know what because that bit was a little confusing, but during this one visit Blue sees this guy who tells her his name is Gansey. Blue is the only one in her family who isn’t psychic, but what she does is strengthen their … uhm… psychic-ness. So she wasn’t supposed to see the guy, and then when she did, everyone was like, that’s it Blue. This is the guy you will kill, so this means you will love him.

And because this book is multiple POV – I really liked that, Stiefvater did it well, unlike that author I shall not speak of – we get to see Gansey, Adam, Ronan, Blue, Noah, and some teacher guy. I won’t talk about the teacher guy because spoilers, but here, if you can read whatever’s on this, maybe you’ll get to know the characters a bit.

If you’re worried about the whole love triangle thing too, and whether Blue becomes all noooo my heart i caaaant – don’t worry. It doesn’t happen. Yet. This book is actually more about the guys than it is about Blue, and though that disappointed me a little when I first finished it (BECAUSE WHY I WANT MORE FEMALE CHARACTERS!), I later thought, huh, it is called The Raven Boys. Sooo… yeah.

For the characters – and this also made me a little disappointed but whatever, no one cares about me – the boys are much more interesting than our Blue. They have some real heartbreaking shit they have to deal with. In comparison, there’s Blue, who is like, aah the guy I love will diieeee. Of course, she doesn’t say a lot of that, but with the POV’s switching from one to the other, when we got to Blue, I always expected something more of the plot than the character, and I was mostly right.

With the others, you could get plot moving forward and stories about the characters. I know some people didn’t like Ronan, and he is a bit of an asshole, but because he wasn’t really the love interest and he didn’t deserve the shit that his brother gave him, and because I kind of understood him not wanting to go to school but staying with Gansey, I liked him. Adam… well, he’s hard not to like, and even if you didn’t like him in the beginning, near the end you’ll feel sorry for him and maybe end up liking him just because ugh, the poor puppy. Gansey, I’ll warn you, takes some time. I think it would’ve been a little better to give us that story of his – or even hints to that story of his – earlier. Just a tiny one too, so we know that he’s not not after that “treasure” just because he’s rich and he needs a hobby, and that’s why he’s taking those friends of his with him everywhere.

Although I must say, I really, really admired his love for his friends. He’s patient and he’s helpful, and he’s an idiot, and rude, and sometimes insensitive, but hey, we’re all human.

Ah, and last thing:

I think from reading the reviews for that Shiver series – the positive and the negative – Stiefvater’s writing is supposed to be like, whooaa! I could marry this writing! I don’t know if she just decided to change that in this one, but don’t expect anything too fancy. I mean, most of the time, it was okay, it’s the kind of writing that is invisible – I don’t mind that at all – but other times… well, I just had to ask myself, “Is she going for like… a cute style? Or is that bit a joke? Is she serious? What the hell?”

I remember there’s this one sentence, where she’s telling us about something, and she says it like this: It was something like that of something of something like something.

I can’t find the page, but very close to that. And hey, see, I can get away with saying a lot of somethings about something, but that’s because I’m talking about something that I don’t know very much of, but if you’re the one writing about something, well, you better come up with other ways to explain that something because you should know more about it.

And then there were other times where a character would say something, and there was proper emphasis in the right parts, but she’d still go on and tell you about how the person said it. Like, hey, I get it. I get it.

It’s like, when a person is using more words to tell you about pretty much nothing. Useless, unnecessary, and please don’t do that, okay?

All right. But other than that, should you read this? YES.

I AM VERY EXCITED FOR THE SEQUEL
I AM ALSO VERY SCARED

Because if you are me, which you’re not so don’t be scared, but if ARE me, then YOU WILL BE SCARED FOR THE FEMALE CHARACTER.

AND LIKE LOOK AT THIS. SHE’S SURROUNDED BY MALE CHARACTERS.

I DO NOT WANT A LOVE TRIANGLE OR A LOVE SQUARE OR A LOVE CIRCLE.

Wait, what is a love circle? Maybe that one would be okay. But this whole thing about “cannot kiss he will dieee” and I SWEAR, IF SOMEONE DIED BECAUSE OF A FUCKING KISS, I WILL KICK A LOT OF TABLES AND INJURE MY TOES OKAY?

Discussing Books with Myself: Iron King

So, I don’t think I’ve posted one like this here, but basically, I’ll be having a conversation with myself, because I get bored and need to talk to someone. There’s me, and there’s “Myself” — who will be playing the “nice” part of me, and… asking questions, and making sure I don’t go on and on about unrelated topics. (There’s My Other Self, but asleep, thank god.) This review isn’t even what you call a review. Don’t expect anything professional, or even something that makes sense.

Myself: This doesn’t even have 5 star reviews from all your friends – or the rest of Goodreads.

Me: That’s usually a good thing. When a book has mixed reviews, it’s… good, or not bad, or decent. When a book has 5 stars all over, it’s… 95% of the time, bad. And all the books that have mostly negative reviews are actually pretty bad – believe me on this. Well, I suppose maybe you shouldn’t, since I don’t read many books that people tell me are bad. It’s also possible that someone just gave some book a negative rating because they didn’t like the author, or something mentioned in the book–

The Iron King, by Julie Kagawa. Click on cover for more details.

Myself: Okay, whatever, shut up now. This is about Iron King. And what’s with your face?

Me: Right. Well… my face…

Myself: Is it good or bad? The book?

Me: Uhm… okay, so The Raven Boys and Iron King both had high, low, and meh ratings…

Myself: What the fuck is a meh rating?

Me: Like, meh! I’m sure people understand me. Both books also have disappearing fathers. The Raven Boys I liked–

Myself: This is about IRON KING.

Me: Right, right. Okay, but Iron King?

Myslef: Yeah?

Me: Oh my god.

Myself: Oh my god?

Me: What the fuck?

Myself: Iron King?

Myself: Yes… to put it very simply, it was bad. Really bad. From what I read of it, anyways.

Myself: Wait, are you saying you didn’t read the WHOLE BOOK?

Me: Yes.

Myself: How dare you?

Me: Shut up. I do what I want. Besides, I got to page 131, that’s more than enough.

Myself: But that means you missed everything. You have no right to judge this book. You have no right to rate this book. You have no right to REVIEW THIS—

Me: Shut up, I said. I’ve read enough of it, and I think it’s pretty bad. I didn’t even meet the love interest and I thought it was bad, so if this guy-who-changes-everything-for-the-girl comes along, I’m 95% sure it only gets worse. That’s what everyone told me too, so no thanks. I’m not reading anymore of it.

Myself: Well, you sure missed out–

Me: No.

Myself: Well, you better get yourself ready for anyone who thinks you missed out–

Me: No.

Myself: Well, you better explain properly–

Me: No.

Myself: I’m only saying what you want me to say, goddammit, STOP THAT.

Me: Okay.

Myself: Bad in what way?

Me: I don’t really know, you see. I don’t know how to explain it, and I don’t know where to start.

Myself: You useless annoying piece of—

Me: Be nice.

Myself: I’m only saying what you want me to say.

Me: Ah, yes. Right. So we have this character named Meghan Chase. She is poor, and her father disappeared when she was ten–

Myself: Six.

Me: What? Really? That makes it even funnier–

Myself: You think parents disappearing is funny?

Me: No, I mean, in the context of the book and with this character and her father – just never mind. Okay. So, six. Meghan has no friends except for this Robbie guy, and no one cares about her at school, or at home, because she has this younger half brother and this step dad, who is like… not paying attention half the time, and this younger half brother sees like monsters and talks to this plush toy named Floppy – which made me think, OHMYGOD PANDORA HEARTS!

Myself: You really suck at this.

Me: Shut up. Anyways, the writing is bad.

Myself: Oh, come on, there’s a lot of good stuff on faeries and there’s good descriptions and–

Me: Okay, all right. Some of the writing was like, meh. And okay. So I guess then, the writing is not bad in a way where it’s like, ugh, you don’t know how to do words! But more like, you’re not trying to do words to the best of your ability, and it only makes it worse because you have this poor excuse of a main character.

Myself: What even.

Me: It’s not the kind of writing that needs editing, but the kind of writing that needs for you to sit back and try to imagine yourself in this character’s place as the story takes place. You’ll notice if you do that, that this character really, really makes no sense, and that it also makes the story kind of shit. I get very irritated when there’s a good idea, there’s a good story, but it is ruined by a useless character, and because that useless character made it impossible for the story to work.

Myself: This isn’t making you sound smart. You’re not actually making sense, you know.

Me: Okay. Okay. Examples. First of all, let’s talk about her thoughts. This is in first person. First person meaning we’re very, very close to her. VERY CLOSE. Like, me and you right now. So right in her head. Now take a look at this:

“Countless stories, songs, and poems have been written about this wonderful age, when a girl finds true love and the stars shine for her and the handsome prince carries her off into the sunset … I didn’t think it would be that way for me.”

I’ll ignore this passage – actually no wait, can I talk about how annoying it is to read about that bit KNOWING that this is a love story where a guy would come and sweep her away into the sunset? Like, honestly, don’t do that, okay? But anyway, notice that she says she doesn’t think it would happen for her. Then on the next page, we get this:

“While other girls spend hours in front of their closets crying, “What should I wear?” my drawers basically hold three things: clothes from Goodwill, hand me downs, and overalls.

I wish we weren’t so poor. I know pig farming isn’t the most glamorous of jobs … [she goes on here] … I glared at my scanty wardrobe in disgust. Oh, well, I guess Scott will have to be wowed with my natural grace and charm, if I don’t make an idiot of myself in front of him.”

Myself: Why are you italicizing that?

Me: EXACTLY THE PROBLEM HERE.

Myself: I’m only saying what you want me to say, stop acting like–

Me: But why do we suddenly break away from her first person narration so we can get those thoughts? You don’t need to do that. I know it’s you thinking here. I even wondered for a bit if it was another character influencing her thoughts – like that would be pretty awesome, you know?

Myself: You can easily ignore that though–

Me: Oh, please. My job is not to ignore the useless bits in the book. I, as a reader, should feel like the story is flowing properly and these little things INTERRUPT me. That’s never good for a book – if you don’t need it there, don’t fucking put it in there.

Myself: Remember, we said to be nice–

Me: Go to hell! That shit with her thoughts italicized happens a few times, but there’s a lot of other ridiculous bits. Okay, so first chapter, after she gets dressed and what not – oh by the way, did I tell you? She goes on about this girl at her school who is “inflate a boob” — like, yeah Meghan, that’s gonna make people like you! Anyways, the kitchen. She comes down to the kitchen, and she tells us about her stepfather and little half brother Ewan or something–

Myself: Ethan

Me: And she like describes what the two of them are doing and then there’s this: “Where’s Mom?” I asked as a I entered the kitchen. I IMAGINED YOU IN THE KITCHEN THIS ENTIRE TIME BECAUSE YOU TOLD US WHERE YOUR STEPFATHER WAS SITTING, AND WHAT ETHAN WAS DOING! Why are you going into the kitchen now? This, again, is INTERRUPTION. NOT GOOD. Like just some random action inserted with dialogue isn’t going to make it good – it isn’t going to make us think that you have such ~good writing~ because it’s USELESS. Fucking pisses me off more than anything in the world – you know who does shit like this with their writing? DO YOU?

Myself: You?

Me: What? Oh my god… Maybe I do? Someone should check that for me—but CLARE DOES THIS. ALKFJKDHGKHJAF

Myself: Oh, here it comes. Remember, people only understand that on Tumblr. You must explain yourself.

Me: LKJFAHFOIAHROIFJK I DO NOT LIKE CLARE’S WRITING KJFAHLGFIUKJB

Myself: Everyone knows that. But what else, I remember something about a person scaring the brother?

Me: Yes, there’s that too – but wait! Remember I said she’s poor, right? She comes into the kitchen, complains about what her mom got and didn’t get for her to eat, and then she like nibbles on a bagel and throws it in the trash, with a SATISFIED SMIRK. Honestly? Really? What the fucking hell, why would you do that? What is this character? Then when she’s leaving, her little brother is like, hey Meghan there’s something in my room. And she’s like, ugh kids are soooo stupid! I’ll go check but ugh kiiiids! So she goes there, and she sees someone looking at her from inside the closet, then she’s like, ughhhhh kiiiids! Now I’m seeing things because stuuupid kiiids!

Myself: That would scare me.

Me: Yeah, and I’d be pretty suspicious too. I mean, I’m not the nicest person to my siblings, but if something happened to them, or they said they were scared, well whatever is in that closet hurting them better get itself ready—I’ll burn it if I have to. But she’s just like, ughhh I’m late to school! Nobody cares about my birthdaaaay! My life suuuuucks! Then we see her best friend Robbie, who calls her princess all the time. And she’s like, don’t call me that oh my god don’t call me thaaaat!

Myself: But that’s good foreshadowing because she turns out to be the daughter of – oh wait, sorry. Spoilers.

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. SPOILERS? THAT’S ON THE BACK OF THE FUCKING BOOK. I knew she was the daughter of some Faery King, and I knew that’s why Robbie called her a princess, and that’s why he was around – to protect her or keep her away or something like that. And I knew that every weird thing going on was the result of this faery stuff, but she’d SEE it happen, and then be like, oh, time to go back to sleep. She overhears Robbie and some nurse talking about this faery stuff and her, like she hears THE WHOLE FUCKING CONVERSATION – ALL OF IT – she’s just says, oh, whatever.

Like, hey, hey, just a little helpful hint: if you’re going to have your character not understand something even after hearing it all, or telling us that they forget or something, AT LEAST give us some of the conversation, not ALL of it. Make her doze off or something. Show us that she’s confused – and not just fucking tell us, because SHE HEARD THAT SHIT. I READ HER HEARING THAT SHIT. Then she’s like, OMG, what I heard before! OMG.

Like, you remember that now? What the hell?

Myself: But it must’ve been the faery–

Me: OH NONO, DON’T YOU EVEN. I thought that too! I thought there might be something going on with her memory and her behaviour that was affected by all that weird faery stuff, or that there was something traumatic that happened to her in the past, maybe with her father? Maybe with her mother? Maybe with some faery thing – like the one in her brother’s closet? (This is what happens when you read Pandora Hearts.) But nope, she’s just being a useless, annoying, RUDE character with no personality, no proper thoughts of her own – she just does things, and things happen to her, but she’s not believable and she doesn’t feel real.

Myself: You’ve said that about every single one of Clare’s characters.

Me: I KNOOOW! *screeches*

Myself: This is getting long – time to end–

Me: NOT YET. I’ll skip the part with her in the school and that popular football team dude – I thought it was there to tell us how special and different and oh-the-main-character-doesn’t-fit-in Meghan was – completely unnecessary, but I haven’t read the whole book so I don’t know. But she comes home, okay, after that weird stuff happened at school, and her mom IS ON THE FLOOR BLEEDING! What does she do? She shakes HER INJURED MOTHER A LOT, thinks about phoning the ambulance, doesn’t do it, then her mom gets up! The mom is like, oh it’s fine, I’m totally fine! Then her husband comes and he’s like FUCK YOU’RE NOT WE’RE GOING TO HOSPITAL! So they both go off, and then Meghan’s like, siiighh, my liiife is weeeird my birthday I’m saaad. Then her brother is acting like a fucking monster – HE STARTS DEVOURING PIZZA WITHOUT CHEWING OR ANYTHING – and Meghan is still like, ughhh kids so stuuuupid!

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS UP WITH THIS GIRL?

Her brother attacks her leg, okay – he BITES HER AND SHE STARTS BLEEDING! LIKE A LOT! She says it herself! She says that Ethan “attacked her like a wild dog” but when Robbie comes, and he tells her that wasn’t her brother, she’s like, ohmygd! What do you mean! Don’t say mean things! Waaah! Leave my brother alone!

Myself: I bet you’re making her sound 1000x more annoying than she actually is in the book.

Me: No no no, only exaggerating by 0.0005x, I promise. She drinks anything that is given to her, it looks weird, it smells weird, she drinks it anyway. Her friend Robbie always acts like he’s hiding a billion things, and she’s like, ah well, it’s Robbie! She ADMITS that it’s weird, but when he tells her something, she’s like NOOOOo YOU’RE NOT THE ROBBIE I KNOW! Except, she herself says – she ACTUALLY ADMITS IT TO HERSELF ALL THE TIME BEFORE — that she doesn’t know him! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?

Myself: Okay, I think we should really stop now – everyone gets it, you didn’t like it–

Me: I AM NOT DONE YET. Robbie goes on to tell her that her brother and he himself is not human, and then she starts screaming that he’s lying and all of that – and then she goes into her brother’s room, and then she comes back out, and then she’s screaming again, and then she’s going on about how unbelievable it is and how everyone is lying, and then she decides to go to faeryland or whatever, and SHE COMPLETELY FORGETS HER BROTHER! ONLY WHEN WE NEED THE CHARACTER TO BE LOST, ONLY THEN, DOES SHE REMEMBER. Oh, is that shiny thing my brother? I must go after him! Oh fuck, that wasn’t my brother! Robbiiie help! Then Puck helps of course, and then something happens, and Puck/Robbie and her are separated, and then she’s like, THAT LIAR HE LEFT ME WAAAH I’M ALONE I AM ALONE IN FAERYLAND WHAT DO I DO NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME WAAH – Meghan Chase, why the fuck are you here? To find your brother. FIND YOUR BROTHER. I hate, hate, hate, HATE characters like these in YA – her little 4 year old brother is better than her, more considerate, and more mature. And then the best part is, THE BEST FUCKING PART is, when she gets taken to that Faery Court or whatever, and she whines about people not helping her there too, and then the King is like, “Meghan Chase you be ma daughtaaaaar *thunder* I did things with your mothaaa *thunder* all sorts of thiiiings because i caaaan *thunder* and now you be my daughtaaaaar!” And of course, she goes NOOOO YOU LIE MY MOM LOVES MY DADDY WHO DISAPPEARED INTO THE POND WHEN I WAS LITTLE YOU DON’T LOVE MY MOMMY GO AWAY! This is supposed to be one of those HOLY FUCKING SHIT moments in the book, you know, where it’s like, SURPRISE! BET YOU COULDN’T GUESS THAT, HEY?

Myself: You said it was on the back of the book.

Me: EXAFUCKINGACTLY. *screeches*

Me: That’s no way to write a story, and if you wanted all the important shit to be in faeryland, why not START the book in faeryland? Why not skip all that useless stuff in the beginning and Robbie going, PRINCESS MY PRINCESS, and why not just — HEY I KNOW! MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL US SHE iS THE DAUGHTER OF THE FUCKING KING ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK! WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA! WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT OF THIS AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE PUBLISHING–

Myself: Okay, all right. Review is over. This was 1/5 stars and meet us next time maybe–

Me: I AM NOT DONE YET!

Myself: YES YOU ARE – GILBEEEERT!

Me: YOU DID NOT JUST TELL ME THAT IT’S JUST A BOOK — Oh hi! Omg Baby Gil! Cutie, look at you!

Myself: We’re done here. Apologies on behalf of Me. Sometimes, it’s just… not good to be in my head. Good thing that other self never woke up. You don’t want that one in here, trust me.

Doodles

I wanted to post a review, but I haven’t gotten around to finishing it. Exams and papers now, so I’m just trying to get those done. I’m still around! I’ll be back soon with writings and liveblogs of readings and snark and reviews. Thank you for the follows.

Have some doodles, though.

Done with pen-brush-marker… thing. Well, it’s really like a watercolor brush, but it has the ink in it already, and you just squeeze it.

Is Shadd okay for a last name? -Story-

(Hi! Didn’t post anything for a while, but here’s something a little short and rough. It’s supposed to be a first chapter, but I’m not sure it has everything a first chapter needs. Or maybe it’s a prologue? The only problem to that is … well, I’ve written a prologue for it, just to help the readers actually know that there’s some fantasy thing going on, and that it’s not just psychological — which is how the character deals with it.)

Chapter 1?

     It was late November, a few minutes past four in the afternoon, chilly, and Maissa Shadd was running away from her mother.

      She would have hid herself in some cafe downtown until it got dark, but if Clarinda somehow found her there, she’d really be cornered. So Maissa ran, holding her hood tightly over her hair, and not angry at her best friend Amber, who had gotten her here in the first place, but at her mother. All she did as she ran towards the apartment was curse her mother. That evil blond woman with cold, cold eyes.

      The pain in her head usually stayed in the back, faint, but now with all her running, it kept sweeping towards the front. Every time it came forward, it lingered for a few seconds just behind her eyes, and Maissa’s vision would darken. That would ensue more curses, and she would press her nails against the rash on her left palm. It sometimes helped the headache, and sometimes didn’t, but it did make the rash worse.

      When she made it to the old broken apartment building, she slowed down and leaned against the side wall for rest. Maybe next time she shouldn’t park her car this far. Normally, there would be no problem at all, if it wasn’t for Clarinda.

      Goddamn that stupid woman.

      Maissa glanced around her, searching for any red and blond. The shadowy mists were everywhere, but she was getting better at ignoring them now. She had noticed a pattern in the two months she’d spent in this town. Whenever fear crept up on her, or whenever she remembered them, the shadows appeared. In corners of rooms, in her head, and like dark clouds floating on air. The more intense the pain in her head, the darker the shadows. Actual people scared her more though, because these shadows never did anything. Just flew around, sometimes swirling into odd shapes.

      Taking a deep breath, Maissa started counting in her head.

      …four, five, six, seven…

      She was sure Clarinda hadn’t seen her, and if it wasn’t for Rani Nimr, her classmate and next-door neighbour, she’d never have managed to escape. No one seemed to be following her now – there was barely anyone in this area – and Rani must have wandered in another direction to distract her mother.

      A few weeks ago, Maissa had gotten a couple of phone calls from her mother. She never answered them, but the one time she did, she cursed, called her names, and then hung up on her. Amber didn’t talk to Maissa for a whole day.

      This morning, Amber had excused herself from Calculus class, and Maissa knew – was absolutely sure of it now – that it was because Clarinda had called her. In the middle of class! The nerve of that woman. Maissa could even imagine Amber answering the phone out in the hall, saying, “Mrs. Shadd! I am so sorry about what Maissa said to you the other day. She doesn’t mean it! If there was anything I could do to get the two of you talking again…”

       She’d call Clarinda Mrs. Shadd, as if Maissa’s parents were still married. Maissa didn’t know how to explain it to her, that it was not about talking again, but about keeping people alive. If Amber actually knew what Clarinda had said after the fire…

      Maissa shook her head to get the memory out. She didn’t like remembering it.

      Still holding her palm tightly, Maissa finished counting up to two hundred. The shadows had disappeared, and the pain had settled in the back again. She took another deep breath, hoping the headache wouldn’t return, and stepped forward.

       It returned.

       Clarinda, the damned blonde, this was all her fault. Her headaches were never this bad.

       She trudged the last few steps to the back of the building, and stopped dead when her car came into view.

       There was someone leaning on it – no, two people leaning on it.

        An image of a dark alley shot through her head, and then people, following at a distance—

       Her heart began to pound against her chest. Her eyes stung from that pain in her head. Why now, when Clarinda had turned up? It couldn’t be them, and it couldn’t be her either, right?

       She blinked rapidly, to clear the shadows out of her eyes – that was blond, tall too, but not Clarinda. Before Maissa could decide to run, one of them saw her.

      “Hey!”

       She nearly collapsed right there from relief. It was Dan and Marcus, Rani’s friends.

      “You scared the hell out of me,” she said, walking towards them. “What are you doing here?”

       Marcus laughed. “You thought we were breaking into your car?”

       “No – well, I guess, maybe. Did Amber send you here?”

       “Yeah—” Marcus said, but Dan nudged him with his shoulder. “I mean, no. We’re looking for Rani. He wasn’t at practice.”

       Well, now that proved her right. Amber really was behind this.

       “He said he needed shoes,” Maissa said. “But then my mother started chasing him.”

        Dan grabbed Marcus by his jacket and started dragging him. “All right. Thanks.”

       “Where are you going now?” Maissa said.

       “To find him,” Marcus said, turning around and grinning happily. He was always grinning.

       “Do you guys want a ride?” Maissa called after them. Dan seemed to be limping slightly.

       “No, but thanks,” Marcus said.

       “What about Rani? He lives close by.”

        Dan waved his hand and called over his shoulder, “Don’t worry about him!”

         Maissa wasn’t worried about him, or Dan or Marcus – she’d heard enough stories about them to know they always got into trouble. She was worried about herself.

       The shadows were dancing around her as she watched them turn the corner. There was no way she could drive anywhere in this state. She went back to her car, got in, and quickly slammed the door shut, as if to escape the mists following her.

      Then she felt stupid because they were in her head anyway, and no matter what she did, they’d always be with her.

      One of them was sitting in the passenger seat. It was the same shadowy creature Maissa had seen on the roof of Rani’s house this morning. A hooded lady in black. Maissa had been thinking about her mother then too.

      “Damn that Clarinda,” Maissa said, shoving her key into the ignition. Oh, the effect she had on her life, and on the peace and quiet of Maissa’s mind.

      “I have been waiting for you,” the hooded lady said.

      “Yeah, yeah, shut up and come back when I’m asleep. Or… awake.”

       She set her head on the wheel and started counting again.

       The shadows never looked this solid.

The Little Devil

      Whenever I sit in front of my basket of turnips, I watch people and listen to bits of their conversations. I heard a lot of stories from my mother, and some I read from my father’s books, ones that he used to tell me back when he was alive. I never understood them, so I didn’t take them seriously. Maybe I was too young, or maybe it was because I didn’t have to worry about anything when I was the one being taken care of.

       Now that has changed, and all those stories and theories come back to me when I hear the stories of the people around me. I think about them because something doesn’t make sense. They don’t match up.

       I once asked a passerby, “Sir, are you leaving Kanos for any work?”

       He said he was going to visit his relatives in a nearby Kingdom.

       I asked another man the same question, and he laughed at me. “Why would I need to go anywhere? Everything is right here – this all that we need. Long live the king!”

       Well, sure. The king was the reason we had turnips in the first place, but that is not why I was asking.

        Some people act like this is the only place that exists, others say they’ve been all over the world, and then there are the elders, who smile at you with sad looks on their faces, as if pitying you for asking such a question.

        There is one old man who I saw a month ago, a new turnip eater, you could say, who gave me a different answer. He laughed too, and then he said, “My dear boy, how do you expect me to leave when I’m trapped like a genie in here?”

        Marwan, who had been yelling about turnips to the market, had stopped to listen. When the old man went away, he asked me what that meant. Of course, the little brat would never have heard about it, so being a bit confused myself, I told him the story my mother had told me.

        They say that the king’s great-grandfather went hunting one day, and he shot a deer. Suddenly, he was in the clutches of a genie, who was going to kill him for killing his son. The king begged for mercy, and asked the genie to spare his life and take his kingdom instead. The genie accepted, but while he was working his magic on destroying the kingdom, another one of the genii came along, this one a good fairy, and stopped him. The genie’s magic was already doing its work though, and the good fairy only managed to keep the power locked up in a lamp.

        With the whole kingdom inside it.

       “What a stupid king!” Marwan had said. “It’s all his fault!”

        I reminded him that it was just a story, and that he should not be too loud about it if he didn’t want to end up in one of the king’s cells. I honestly didn’t care if he did end up there, but I didn’t want to be involved. The story about the genie fascinated him though, and after two days, he told me that some genii came to visit him, and they had a nice chat. I got so scared I almost kicked him out of the house. If the kid was possessed by the devil, I didn’t want him around. My mother didn’t let me though, and said he’s just a boy with a lot of imagination.

        Yeah.

        I told Marwan yet again that it was just a story, and swore to myself that I’d never tell him another one.

        Even though I still like to think that it is just a story, the more I look around me, and the less I have to eat everyday, the more I hope someone would get us out of this lamp. There’s probably more food out there, and maybe more people who could buy these damn turnips.

        Well, that old man who thinks he’s trapped like a genie comes by every day, right around when it’s getting dark, and buys one turnip. I think he has some problems with his memory. He always asks about what we’re selling, even though the answer was given to him the day before. After some beard-stroking and looking at the turnips like he has never seen them before, he picks one up, pays for it, and then goes off on his way.

         Today, he asked about Marwan. Apparently, that little brat does a better job of selling turnips than I do. Well, he has more energy, and I honestly cannot move around too much with my fake moustache and turban. I couldn’t tell him that, of course, since I had a suspicion that he knew I wasn’t a dear boy.

        “Marwan is at home, looking after my sick mother.”

         The old man expressed some genuine concern. I suppose he knew all about being ill; he has a cough that never goes away. He handed me some herbs to brew for my mother, and I gave him a free turnip. He looked happy.

         I wasn’t happy at all walking back to our broken hut, because he had reminded me of my mother.

         What do you do when your family doesn’t have enough food to eat, doesn’t have proper shelter, and you have debts that will take an eternity to pay off?

         You take in a little brat, and get yourself an extra mouth to feed. That’s what my mother did, and now she’s terribly ill because she’s been working too much, and not eating and resting enough.

        “But look at the precious child, he would’ve died out in the storm!” she had said.

          What’s that to us?

         My mother thinks that people who do good deeds will be rewarded with goodness themselves.

         Yeah, we’ve seen a lot of goodness, thanks to Marwan. Like the time he bit someone on the leg, just because the man had accidentally knocked our turnip basket over. Of course, me being the older brother, I had to deal with the man’s anger. I managed to convince him between punches, while I held my fake moustache in place, that my mother’s prayers reached heaven in a flash, so she’d pray for good fortune to fall upon him. People get scared of that, especially when it comes from poor people.

         Of course, my mother never prayed for any good fortune when she saw me at home with my black eye. She cursed him for half an hour, and Marwan sat there with a bloody nose, yelling, ”Yes, please God! Amen!” at everything.

        My mother has taken a huge liking to the brat, and she asks me about him before she asks about the turnips. Which, I think, is a sign that she’s losing her mind too.

       Our small broken hut is at the end of the market, so by the time I get there, it is usually dark. I must’ve been walking really fast today with all that worry, because it wasn’t dark when I got home, and I was sweating. The fake moustache – made with the hair off my head and stuck on with dough – was coming off.

       I kicked lightly on the door of the hut while holding the turnip basket, and in a moment, it was flung open.

       “Zahra!” Marwan said happily when he saw me.

       “Marwan, how’s mother?”

        He threw himself at me. “I have so much to tell you—”

       “Careful, you little devil, you’ll ruin the turnips!” I said, pushing him away and putting the basket aside. “Is there water in the house?”

       “Yes!” he said, bouncing on his toes. I don’t understand this kid, but I guess this meant my mother wasn’t too bad.

       “Okay, we’re going to make some medicine for mother, go get the fire ready,” I said.

       I pulled off my moustache and turban, but Marwan was still staring at me, a big smile on his face, and almost jumping with excitement.

       “Fire, Marwan?”

        He shook his head. “Can I speak now?”

        “You’re already speaking. What is it?”

        “She will be cured!”

         “Of course,” I said, walking past him into the tiny room where my mother slept. “But we still have to make her som—”

         The room was empty, the thin blankets all folded properly.

        “Marwan… where’s my mother?”

        “She went to get cured!”

         I turned to face the little idiot.

         “Marwan, I left you here so you could look after mother. She can’t walk, she’s too sick, so what the hell do you mean by she went?” I spoke slowly and clearly, so he could understand everything.

        “I know! But I called the genii, and they took her! She’ll be cured tomorrow, but we must pick her up! See, I got this!”

         Marwan pulled out a silver locket from his pocket, a locket with an ugly stone.

        “Marwan… you sold my mother?”

(I had posted this before, but at that time, I hadn’t gotten it back from my prof yet, so I thought it probably wasn’t a good idea to leave it online. Also, this is sort of a first chapter. I want to get to writing the second one soon. Any mistakes, critique, suggestions — feel free to comment. Again, I don’t know what version I posted. There’s like 6 of them on my computer and I can’t read all of them to determine which one is the most recent – especially since I randomly fix bits in all of them and save them. Leads to more confusion. I’m terrible at this.)